I am trying since 12 years to stand on feet so that I can start a business of my own but every time I failed this has resulted me in owing lot of monies to people. I am working with my in laws but the field I am actually in is not my field and it makes me feel ashame to take a monthly salary which does not reflect my job. And being fed by my in laws results in having to hear uneasy words.
I have lost huge amount of money in business and when the people want their money back (which are their dues) I have to lie and tell them that next week I will settle and it continues like that
My aim to start a food business of my own is that I can help my parents who are retired and also secure something for my kids. I feel that something very heavy on my heart when I cannot provide my kids, wife and parents with what they want. I need to tell here that we do not have any shortage of foods or clothes but when parents ask me for something, I just bypass as I cannot afford to. This really pains me.Being a human, I’ve sinned and sometimes I feel that Allah does not want to hear from me and I am condemn to pay for all my deeds. I do fear Allah but I feel that he is very very angry with me and my forgiveness is being rejected.
Brother, kindly advise me