Unhappy in marriage

Question ID: 25853


Both my husband and i were Christians before we reverted to Islam 4 years ago. The problem is that we live together but have no sexual relations. My husband has put me and the children out of the house on many occasions and as i did not want to inconvenience my family, i always went back. About 4 months ago, i got a flat and furnished it and i pay the rent every month even though i am not living there but keep it as security.
When i suggest that we meet a counsellor as our marriage is in trouble, he says that we don’t need one. He firmly believes that everything will come right if i just do as he says. To him even if a colour is white and he says it is red then you must accept it with no questions.
I feel very lonely as i have no-one to talk to. He does not even greet me as a husband should and we have no contact at all. The only contact we have is when we are in bed and he touches my arm or foot by mistake.
What do i do? I am so unhappy. Do i stay in this marriage and be oppressed or do i leave.
If i leave will this be a negative mark for my girls when they have someone who is interested in marrying them as they are 24 and 19 already?
Your response will be greatly appreciated.

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Asked on January 24, 2010 12:00 am
Private answer
Allaah will reward you for your Sabr. Try to get those who introduced you to Islaam to intervene and also those who were witnesses to the Nikah to aid in finding solutions. The longer you maintain this marriage the more reward you get. Find permissible alternatives to keep your mind occupied and be positive in this bad horrible, negative situation.
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Answered on January 24, 2010 12:00 am