Unhappy in marriage

Question ID: 30162

Salaam Mufti, I have been married for 7 years. I have been unhappy since then but I have stayed back to make sabr and try and make the marriage work. I am very unhappy though. My husband does the following:
* It has been 6 months since we have had any physical contact, when I address It he avoids the topic. When he did get physical it was a one sided thing-it has never in 7 years been pleasurable for me
* He gambles
* HE does not keep any of his fasts
* He is constantly emotionally abusing me
* He does not assist with the baby and even when I am sick he wont look after her
* He makes me like a dog when it comes to groceries and buying household things
* After me telling him for 3 years I don’t want to be in the business with him he refuses. This is one of the biggest reasons of us fighting as he blames me for the downfall.
* I am expected to look after his mother, and when she gets sick she does not know what she is doing she even thinks the kitchen is the toilet and messes with stool.
* HE does not stand by me
* He keeps telling me I am a failure
* He puts pressure on me to ask my father and brother for money and when I refuse he emotionally abuses and hurts me.
* He keeps borrowing money from people and makes me borrow and doesnt pay back and has so much debt then gets angry when the people ask for their money.

I am scared of him that’s another reason I have not done anything till date but its making me depressed. Does Shariah allow this? Please advise what to do. I cannot talk to his parents as they are separated and mentally not stable to discuss this. Approaching the council then he will make life more difficult for me.

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Asked on September 4, 2013 11:43 am
Private answer

Approach your local Ulema council. You cannot live with such an oppressive person. Thus who signed the Nikaah certificate must be brought into negotiation. Try to send him out in Jamaat.

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Answered on September 4, 2013 11:43 am