Terminate marriage through email

Question ID: 27507


Moulana we have a problem,My cousin has left home in May pretending to go on a course overseas.His wife got a bit worried when he did not call or reply to her messages,Finally she received an email from him,saying that he would like to terminate the marriage as he is not happy and he has moved to London found a job and intends staying there.

She replied saying that she needed more time.I dont know if he had told her that he is gay,he did not mentioned to me that he is gay,but some time back when he was engaged to another girl,he told her that he wants to break the engagement because he is gay,after that he stole money from the business and went to Cape Town,His parents found him living with another guy ,and brought him back,then he got Married to please his parents,July will be the second year of his marriage.

He has sent me emails saying that he is very happy there in London,please advise how do we bring him back into his deen.He has left many debts unpaid.His mum is worried as most of the companys are going to take legal action,although the parents are well off to pay the debts,but if they do it he is likely to repeat his actions.

Please if you can ,advise how to handle this situation,i am sending a copy of his email send to me.


How are you, xxxx? I trust and hope that you and your family are well?

How are xxxxx and xxxxx? I miss them a lot. Everytime I pass a toy shop in London, I think of them.

Anyway, I told xxxxx that I will send you an email last week but I did not get a chance. I dont have internet access at home so I have to take my laptop with me to the train station and use the Wireless Internet or go to an Internet Cafe but the past few days, I have not had the time.

It has been raining here for the past few days, I got soaking wet today from the bus stop walking home, a distance of about 200m but it was pouring.

Work is ok. I started 3 weeks ago and there is a lot to learn. London is fantastic. I love this city. This has been my dream to live here and now, I am doing. Sad that it had to be this way for me to live in London but I had to. I had no choice. I just dont know how to explain or where to start so I wont do it just as yet. Please understand that I need to do this for myself as I was going into a deep depression. Perhaps it is the biggest mistake of my life but I feel that I should not have gotten married to xxxxx just to please others but no one sees my point of view. xxxxx is ready for a family but I am not. No one seems to understand or realize that. How can I bring a child into this world when I am not even ready. Granted that I am not getting younger but I first need to sort out my life before bringing an innocent child into this world. Does that make any sense? The new Mayor of London has banned all alcohol on the underground and they had a party on Saturday, on the train as it will be last time anyone will be allowed to drink on the train. The new law came into effect on June 01. There were clashes between the drinkers and the Police and 20 people were arrested. The station they did the rounds at is very close to where I work.

Anyway, how is your Mom doing? I hope that she is well. Please give her my Salaams. I hope that you are not angry with me for this…. Please understand. I hope that you do know about this, then again…. xxxxx was staying at your house… Has anyone asked anything?
Give my salaams to everyone.

Your cousin,

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Asked on February 18, 2009 12:00 am
Private answer

She is still his wife. Whether he is gay is questionable.
His debt should not be paid. He must be consulted and ask him whether he want to persue, continue the marriage or not. He must make a firm decision. Meanwhile he has to earn pay off his debts, be regular in Salaat, try to go out in Jamaat. Unite himself so some pious Alim. Allaah will help

Marked as spam
Answered on February 18, 2009 12:00 am