Assalamu-alaykum honourable Mufti
Insha-allah my mail reaches mufti in the best of health.
In April 2008 I left my marital home due to problems I was facing with my mother-in-law as well as my husbands unnecessary suspicions and insecurities about me. (A man who trusted me to run his business without anyone else present for 3 years but needs me to live with his mother so she can keep an eye on me.) 3 Weeks after that a meeting between my husband and I with two aalims present was held. The agreement we reached was that I would return back to his parents home while arrangements were made to build separate quarters and that he would go for counseling. On returning to his parents home I gave my hand to his mother to make salaam and she threw it aside. This was in the aalims presence. Due to this cold treatment (which was also the problem that caused me to leave previously) I walked back out telling my husband I would only return to a separate abode now. He refused saying I made sabr in the past I should just go on and that he will not go for counseling.
In May he then gave me a written talaq on my request and on his free will. A week before my iddah was due to expire he revoked the talaq over the phone. He said he would get a separate flat and that he realized he was wrong suspecting me unnecessarily. But he also said he wants to have nothing to do with my parents and that I do not have to speak to his parents because they don’t want me.I personally did not feel comfortable reconciling in that way. I believe that to move forward we all needed to put aside our differences, make maaf and then start over. He refused saying he hates my family.
Ever since I am still living in my parents home. Things have only got worse..
He has cursed my parents. He has thrown in my face the fact that he paid for my eye surgery and childbirth. I have since returned the money to him. I also returned the jewelery they gave to me. Even though he says he didn’t ask for it he accepted it.
At times I thought to go back and to try to make the marriage work for Allahs pleasure and to give my son a “normal” home. But I have now realised that there is no compassion, trust, understanding or love left and a home like that will only be more detrimental to my child. Every telephone conversation we have he has to upset me by telling me we are immoral, and of weak imaan and uncultured mentality. I cannot imagine having to live with a man who will constantly taunt me like that. He obviously forgets that Allah is the best of judges. Nonetheless, I have decided not to go back to him.
The problem I face now is: Jamiatul Ulama have given me a fatwa that two talaqs went through and therefore our nikah is terminated. Reconciliation requires new nikah. My husband however got a different fatwa from Mufti Siraaj Desai, stating that it was 1 talaq raj’ee and since he revoked it before iddah expired we are still in nikah. I am now in a state of confusion as to weather I am still in nikah or not. I have asked him to issue another talaq but he refuses. He says only if I give up all rights to our 18 month old baby will he release me. This statement makes it quite clear to me that he has no positive feeling for me and no confidence in our marriage either.
The aalims who were dealing with the matter in the beginning are not comfortable doing so anymore because my husband feels they are biased and no longer talks to them.
I would like some clarification from Mufti regarding the status of our nikah. If according to Mufti sahebs knowledge we are still in nikah, I request guidelines as to how I should go about obtaining ‘fasakh’.
The talaq document was written as follows:
“I MR release MRS FROM all marital vows. My assets are mine, her assets are hers. My debts are mine, her debts are hers.
I talaq her.”
It was written in my presence and I heard him saying he would only give one talaq as it is against shariah to give more. Before writing it he asked me if I was sure and when I confirmed he verbally said “Ok, I give you a talaq.”
Also before I left his home in the beginning he told my father over the phone that if I left his home it was over.
Muftis advise and mas’alah will be highly appreciated.
May Allah reward you for all your efforts and accept all your duas.