I’m in need of some nasiha please…
*I’m female and at home with my mother, & I attend hifdh class during the day. However my complaint is that when there is weekly ta’leem, my mother goes but I am unable to attend because theres work for our Helper in the house, I stay at home to keep watch (security reasons). My mother leaves me behind.
However when there is a program by my ustaadh given in a bit of a slight distance away and when I want to attend the program or another bayaans my mother is not prepared to drive me there due to it being to “far” for her. I definitely need the spiritual boost and motivation as well as to meet my ustaadh & keep ta’alluq. When I’m at home I try to listen to other live programs but it isn’t the same as some work or the other comes up and often I will miss a portion of the bayaan.
* when it is jumu’ah my mother insists we go early to finish kitchen work so that asr/maghrib time we can be on the musallah however my mother will send me back in the kitchen for eg: to switch on the stove for supper, prepare salad, check the food etc etc at that time. I often lash out saying it isn’t fair me leaving du’a & delaying MY own salaah whilst my mother continues making ibadah in peace. When am I to make my ibadah?!? I then have to serve my siblings and don’t finish my set amount of jumu’ah ma’mulaat and durood.
Also at times when my mother calls me to do chores it’s the time I’m learning my sabaq and since it’s a struggle for me to learn quickly I often end up ignoring her and only going to assist once I’ve done my hifdh. It is difficult mentally for me to complete my work quick quick.
I know the great rights of my mother, I know the numerous virtues and I also know I’ll never be able to pay back all that She’s done for me…My question is am I being too fussy & petty, stubborn and selfish by wanting to devote time to my tarbiyyah, hifdh, ibadah & islaah or should I just serve my mother and accommodate her demands.
It is taking me a bit of adjusting being at home as I’ve been a taalibatulilm in madrassah for some time and I sorely miss being immersed in that atmosphere, the company of my asaatizah and spending time fi sabeelillah. My spiritual level has decreased, I feel I’m nt getting that constant reminder and boost. I honestly can’t see what to do next… Pease advise.