Once one passes away, does ones deeds get presented to ones parents?

Question ID: 30559

Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu,

question 1: are our deeds presented to our parents after our death? If true, is this backup up by sahih hadith? Could you give me a reference on this hadith. Below are some quotes i found on the internet, but i don’t know if they are authentic.
“When a parent of a Muslim dies then their children’s actions are presented to them. If the actions are good then they are happy, but if their actions are bad, then they pray to Allah so that He may forgive them”
[Tafsir Ibn Kathir, Sura at-Tauba, under verse 105]
More important than this is that a deceased person knows what his relatives and friends do… “The actions of the living are shown to the deceased people. The deceased people feel relieved and happy when they see good deeds of their friends. They say (Oh my Allah, make him better) when they see bad actions.” (Kitab-ar-Ruh, Chapter 1)
Mujahid says: “After his death, a person in his grave is given joyful tidings about the good deeds of his son.” (Kitab-ar-Ruh, Chapter 1)

question 2: I know it’s proven from authethic hadith that our deeds are presented to the prophet sallalahu alaihi wasallam (from: Maariful Quran, and from the fatwa’s from this site). But aren’t we doing good deeds and bad deeds ALL the time? Doesn’t this confirm the (false) theory of “hazir aur nazir” (Barelwi belief) then? I have a difficulty understanding this, and while i don’t want to believe the hazir and nazir theory, but they spread this belief everywhere from quoting this sahih hadith. How should one refute this idea?
It is mentioned in a Deobandi book (don’t know which one exactly anymore) that the deeds presented to our Prophet (saw) are only “summarized” or something like this. Which hadith can i quote to the Barelwi’s to prove that the knowledge presented to our Prophet (saw) is only summarized?

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Asked on March 16, 2010 12:00 am
Private answer
1) Yes, when Allaah wills. Sources are authentic.
2) By action been presented to Nabi (S.A.W) does not in any way or manner that he (S.A.W) is 'hazir or nazir' - for he (S.A.W) is in one place receiving the information. How does this prove 'hazir or nazir'.
Also how can one make analytical Shaari deductions crossing over from one dimension (dunya) onto another (barazakh)
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Answered on March 16, 2010 12:00 am