I am a 31 year old unmarried female. For 3yrs I went out with a non muslim guy who gave me his word that he would convert. I told him that even if he does my parents would not accept because they do not like converts. Since then he has changed his mind and has said he will never convert to islam and if I want to marry him I must convert. I said no, I will not compromise on my religion. We called it off and my parents did not know about this.
It is quite hurtful and I’m depressed most of the time. I do not know if Allah will forgive me. I did not sleep with him although that does not absolve me from my sins. Now I’m stressing because I have met muslim guys who have said I’m too old and will die alone.
Furthermore my mum listens to all her friends who tell her there is something wrong with me and I have jinn that prevents me from getting married. Now she wants to take me to an aalim. It is not the first time they have subjected me to this. Twice I had to perform some ritual by taking a cleansing bath, etc
I’m tired of this, I don’t know what to do. Am I ever going to get married and be absolved from my sin.