Assalamu Alykum. I request you to please let me know the sharia ruling with regard to my situation. Couple of days back I came across some fatwas / figh explanation from an Islamic forum regarding divorce which made me anxious with regard to my current married life. As a consequence of this, I decided to write to you and seek the correct position InshaAllah.
I have been married for over 15 years now. Except the past 7 months, I was always living and working alone in different cities / countries while my wife used to live with my parents at my home back in India. I used to periodically visit my parents once or twice a year for about 2-3 weeks. About 11 years back, I had issed a single divorce (1 time) to my wife in writing who was staying in my house with my parents while I was working in a different city. The family elders thought it wise to send her back to her father’s home while they were trying to resolve the issue and they sent her to her parents. Within couple of months my father passed away and I came home to visit my mother. At that time, I was told that my wife had returned to my house to support my mother. My reply to that was “Okay”. I do not know for sure if she returned during her iddah or after completion of her iddah period. Anyway, since I was angry and upset that she returned without me taking her back I never spoke to her, looked at her or touched her. We did not even share the same room. This was the situation for over 1 year. After about 1 year we shared the same bedroom but physically separated beds and there was absolutely no physical contact of any sort. After about another 9 months or so I decided to have sex with her as a result of emotional pressures applied . Though I was anxious at that time that this may be haram, I thought since I had not said talaaq 3 times this may be Okay. Since then we continued to live like husband and wife whenever I visited home. In effect, from the time I pronounced a single divorce (1 time), Until I touched her after about 2 years, I had not revoked the talaaq (say to the effect that I take her back as my wife again) . In fact all along I was angry for these 2 years that we had been forced in this situtaion without me having revoked the talaaq explicitely or implicitely.
During my research in the past few days, I now understand that since I had not revoked the talaaq before she completed her iddah, the talaq had automatically converted into talaq-e-bain and our subsequent relationship has been illegal.
Could you please answer the follwing for me.
1) Is our current status a haram one? Is it like we have committed adultry?
If yes, What is the best way to make tauba for this.
2) what is the way forward for me?
If you need any further details, please let me know.