Massallah pertaining to taking a second wife

Question ID: 24817

My parents have been having marital problems for many years (poor communication, arguments, etc) No effort was made by them to sort it out. My father (70yrs) then recently got secretly remarried to a woman half his age. He told my mother after a few months of doing so. She is devastated. We all are devastated. He is in the the tabligh jamaat. He says what he did is sunnah.
1) I told him that while having 2 wives is sunnah, the way he did it is far from sunnah. Surely he is supposed to try to sort out his first marriage, and if not succeeding, then to at least explain to my mum that he is going to get married again because of their problematic marriage. Am I correct?
Perhaps this would have made my mum really make an effort to make the marriage work. She was given no warning, no chance to even try
2) when he realized how upset and unhappy we were he said he will end the second marriage. Is it fine for him to do that? (Even though I doubt he will do it.)
3) I am disgusted by what he did and I know it will be sinful to break ties with him. But I can’t stand being in his company. What is the minimum I have to do in terms of maintaining ties with him, so as not to anger Allah ta’aala.
Jazakallah for your time and advice

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Asked on December 10, 2010 12:00 am
Private answer
1) It is NOT jurisprudically 'Sunnat' to take a second wife. It is permissible. But Equal Rights on that which can be divided has to be strictly adhered to in order to earn the pleasure of Allaah and not His anger or punishment in the Aakhiraat. He has taken a second step without stabilising the first.
2) It is his call/prerogative.
3) Help and aid him whenever possible. Make Duaa for him. Do not anger or displease him intentionally.
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Answered on December 10, 2010 12:00 am