. respected mufti saheb. I am in need of your guidance.
about one and a half years ago i got affected with jadoo, Alhumdulillah through the mercy of Allah things are alot better and i am leading a normal life yet again, although i still get a little weak once in a while but nothing serious.about 6 weeks ago i received a proposal. due to the past i was a little unsure as to wheather i should go ahead with marriage or not, although i had decided that whenever a proposal does come i will tell the family everything about my life and not keep anything a secret. due to it being the month of ramadhaan we asked the family if they could just hold on until after ramadhaan, to which they agreed. now mufti due to my past, i decided to make istikhaara to get guidance from Allah as to weather i should get married or not (i have not seen the boy yet). on the first occasion of istikhaara, i did not have any dream but on awakening i felt rather happy but still a little part of me was still confused, so i decided to carry out istikhaara again. on the second and third occasion i had dreams but only of things that i know about him. for instance, my brother told me that the boy had gone for three days jamaat this weekend that just went by, so i dreamt of him something to do with jamaat. then on the third instance my brother had once mentioned that the boy’s cousin does not like him because he doesn’t go out much, he prefers to keep to himself and his family so on the third instance i dreamt of his cousins parents telling me about him not being nice, etc. and my father was very upset as to how the boys uncle could talk ill off him etc. moulana i feel the dreams i am getting are my subconsciousness.
1.is it my subconsciousness or do the dreams actually have a meaning?
2. should i continue making istikhaara or should i meet the boy first and then make istikhaara?
3. what would your advise be in this regard?
4. almost all my family members seem happy about this proposal, it’s only me that has not decided as i feel i do not want to ruin the boys life due to my past. what should i do as after ramadhaan my parents are going to ask me wheather i want to see the boy or not? (i have not seen anything wrong with the boys side, they seem to be a very nice family, the problem i am having is with myself)
mufti your help and guidance will be highly appreciated
. may Allah reward you abundantly in both worlds.