Grandmother not a pleasant woman

Question ID: 30564

Assalamu Alaykum Respected Mufti.

I have a question pertaining to my grandmother. She is 86 years old and is not a very pleasant person. As a result, the family has shunned her for all the trouble she has made.

She has 2 sons and it is just my father and mother that care for her. She was once committed to mental hospital, but subsequent checks to doctors have shown that she is 100%.

Her elder son does nothing for her and his wife is not willing to assist with her care. My parents do everything for her, but she swears at them and never shows appreciation. She has ill-treated my mother for 30 years.
Mufti, I have two questions essentially?

1. The house my parents reside in, was paid off jointly by my father and late grandfather. What share does my uncle have should anything happen to my grandmother or father?

Her family fauged my grandfather’s will and left the house to her. This is not speculation, we know for a fact. My father is old and cannot afford to pay my uncle the present day value of the house. Is it permissable to give my uncle a share of the house valued before my father had renovated it and paid for all alterations?

2. Is it permissable for us to scold my grandmother for matters relating to Islam? Examples, being to perform her salaah, bathing-etc? She also tells a lot of lies and does not sit when eating, she stands. Please explain the importance of being seated when eating.

Mufti, my grandmother lies so much and makes so much of trouble that I fear for her when her eyes close and she leaves this world. Please advise what we can do, recite to make her a better, God fearing person.


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Asked on March 16, 2010 12:00 am
Private answer
1) Whilst the parties are alive negotiate the settlement most quickly. The deal proposed is feasible.
2) Do not put pressure on her, If she is lying concerning her mental state then to
her; - her intentions.
Make Sabr, unreal, unlimited rewards lie ahead.
Read Manzil, blow in water and let drink daily.
Eating sitting is Sunnat.
Eating standing is un-Islaamic. Way of the enemies of Islaam.
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Answered on March 16, 2010 12:00 am