Question ID: 28157

Assalaamualaikum Mufti

I would like to know what to do in the situation I am faced with.
I have been married for 6 and a half years and during this time my husband and i are always having arguments and everytime we argue my past mistakes are thrown in my face and i am expected to say i’m sorry.we had an argument in july and only started speaking to each other again in August as i was tired of being blamed for things i did not do and when i spoke up for myself this was a big issue, my husband stays angry for very long when we argue and when i try to speak to him we end up arguing more, when we were not talking to each other in august i sent a sms to all my friends and family on Shabi Baraat wishing them well and in my sms i asked that they keep me and my kids in their duaa’s, amoungst those i sent the sms to was a male friend of my sisters whom my husband has met twice as he had come to our house to visit with my sister since she is from CT and he is in Jhb. the night before the 1st ramadaan he sent me an sms wishing us well for the month of Ramadaan and this sparked another argument between me and my husband as he feels that i have seeked the company of this male by sending the sms to him although the sms was the same to all on my contact list and my husband was not speaking to me or eating the food i prepare at home from the 1st Ramadaan until the 21st Ramadaan when we started speaking to each other again, then on Eid’s day the same male person sent an Eid wish to me and my family and when I told my husband I received an sms from him wishing us Eid Mubarak he got angry with me again and did not want to speak to me on eid day and even yesterday when i came home from work when i asked him what he wants to eat he did not want to talk to me.I am going to CT in a few days time with my 2 kids and he does not like this because i am going to my family as i am originally from CT and all my family is there so i am going for my niece’s wedding.

what must i do now, should i just leave him to get over his anger and then make a decision as I was in this situation before Ramadaan and was thinking of moving on my own with the children as he also does not want ot move out of his parents home saying that they are old and he needs to see to them, even though he has another brother and sister who do not take care or see to them at all he has taken the responsibily upon himself to pay for all expenses in the house and this was also brought up in our last argunments we had where he does not think it is the responsibility of the husband to provide everything for the wife and children.

Can mufti please tell me what i am supposed to do in this situation.


Marked as spam
Asked on October 11, 2008 12:00 am
Private answer
Seek counselling. Avoid these SMS's. Explain to him his role, responsibility. Have you tried not working and shouldering him with all the responsibilities. Do not leave him, as yet
Marked as spam
Answered on October 11, 2008 12:00 am