Asking husband to choose between you and his family

Assalaamu Alaikum dear brother in Islam my question is as follows. I have been married for 5 and a half years Alhumdulilah. When we got married I was the second wife I am now the only wife he has. the problem is twofold. Initially the imam where I attend masjid refused to marry us as he did not like my husband thus someone else performed the nikkah but was unable to give us a marriage certificate. How will I be able to prove that we are married as I only have the witnesses’ names. Secondly in the past year he has spent more time away from me than he has been with me. You see his children from his 1st marriage live with his parents who are both getting old so he spends most of his time there. In the last two weeks I have not seen him at all and everytime we speak on the phone we are always arguing. What I want to know is am I wrong to ask my husband to choose what he wants? Me or his family? His family does not accept me or our marriage as he never informed them that he was taking a second wife. We did separate about 4 years ago after I found out that he was having affairs with numerous women. He has changed his ways Alhumdulilah and we reconciled but he never told his family that we are still married until last year August after he had an operation on his lungs. This he only did after his mother belittled me in the hospital calling me the worse names under the sun. It was so difficult not to answer her or be rude to his mother but I kept my mouth through the whole 45 mins she swore at me. I love my husband but I want a proper marriage I want a husband who will be at my side and guide me in the deen. I am a revert and the dowry I asked of him was to lead me in the deen. This he has not done yet and when I go and salaah he just relaxes on the bed if and when he is at our home. Please advice me kanallah