Salaams Mufti Saab
I was wondering if you please could kindly assist and advise me on the situation i am currently facing.
I got married on the 17 feb 2012 this was just the nikah.My wife and i were intending to do the ruksati early in december but at the present moment its on hold due to certain circumstances which i will fill you in on .
The first month in my marriage went really well by the grace of Allah we got along and nothing seemed to be wrong.During the second month of marriage my wife made certain demands like wanting a new ring and furniture before she moved in with me which i accepted but told her that i would buy her all those once the date of ruksati was confirmed and as she was still living with her parents.The most shocking incident took place when she asked me a question to give her the right to divorce as husband holds authority to this she said she read a book and was asking on the bases on what she read i took this as naivety…I told her we have just been knewly married and would not accept such kind of a request as it was a shock to me.We argued tat day but overcame our difference or so i thought .The next we suppose to meet and she had sent me a message to say she could not meet me so i thought she might still be upset about my decision needing advice i could not talk to my parents on the bases she had still not moved in so i decided to talk to her parents .I spoke to her mum about the story and told her about the conversation tat took place ..Her mum told me not to worry and keep patients but little did i know things would get worse as her and her mum had a confrontation where the mum called me saying she was going to tell her dad to call a meeting with my parents but i advised tat she keep my parents out of this and try a come with a solution where we meet once a week.Soon after this my wife had stopped talking to me so i decided to go see her dad …i told her dad about wat had taken place he had told me not to worry and take it as conversation i then got to meet my wife and spoke to her resolving the problems.
The next day the most shocking incident had occured my wife had informed me to say tat her dad was in hospital and was serious.I went over to her home and tried to console her there i was met by her brother who is 10 years younger then me who began to swear and shout at me and disrespected me.A few mins later her mum had come and started accusing me of her dad being in hospital.I was shocked and disturbed by this as i do not stay in the same house to force someone to take poison little did i know tat the incident took place at the home where the mother in law wanted the father in law to get a divorce from me and he did not want.Soon after this incident occured i had related the incident to my parents who then took me to my wifes home trying to find out the problem there again the mother in law had said she would not want to talk about the incident and i am the one with the problem.My mum was talking to my wife and told me talk to her she had indirectly disrepected my mum, a few mins later her came in the room and says stop fighting with my daughter and i will not let you shout at her before i even said anything i was accused of doing things which i did not commit.
Soon after her dad had come out from hospital, i tried to get a maulana to try and get a mediation done but in this process i was neither allowed to talk to my wife on a one bases and kept seeing interference frm her mum who especially wanted me to divorce my wife.She said i could not be allowed to meet my wife and i must take her dad as her mediator which i found very unfair cause he had no islamic knowledge.I got angry and lost my kewl and told her mother to stop interfering between me and my wife i soon apologized knowing tat it was disrespectful.A few days later after this incident occurred i was sent a message by her parents sayings my wife wants a divorce but i never ever heard it from my wifes mouth.
I have not been allowed to meet or talk with my wife since may.
Terms are being dictatored towards me and i was chased away frm the gate by the mother when i wanted to see my wife.
She is not allowed to take my phone calls and sms also or reply to me her mum has strictly forbidden her.
I dont know wat reason they ask for the divorce or what justification they have for it but as a husband i have been extremely kind to her bought her anything shes demanded except for furniture which i told her i d buy when she moved in … anything i buy my wife i must buy my mother in law mufti saab is this fair like a diamond ring or clothes ,perfume etc.
The mother keeps interfering between me and my wife.
I do not want to give my wife a divorce but i am being forced by her parents who try and make me do this.
I have also been disrepected and insulted many times by her family.
Her uncle threatened me and is forcing me to give the divorce and said i was sending my wife nasty messages when all i did was ask her why are you forcing the divorce upon me she never reply and just got her uncle involved who was really aggressive,vulgur and has not been involved in the marriage at all he was unaware of the story and came to conclusion based on my wifes mothers story.
Her parents involvement in the divorce has made things really complicted and have not allowed me to carry out a reconcilation by involving to Islamic scholars.Her parents seem to be forcing the divorce on me and have not allowed me to meet her even one day…i tried on several occassions but they keep refusing to open there gate for me to visit my wife there interference is just extremely fustrating…
I’ve never got angry with my wife but have been accused of mentally torturing her which is not really the case.
I dont know on what grounds they ask for the divorce but now her parents are spreading rumours and lies about me as well as falsely accusing me of many things.
i am trying my best to keep Sabr…
My wife does not listen to anything i say and keeps listening to her mother s advice …
I’ve really been put through Mufti saab but all i want is talk to my wife and try and make things work out her family keep interfering and dnt want me too.
Mufti saab how must i deal with difficulties faced in this situation