What should be done if ones wife is having an affair

Question ID: 23934

Salaams Respected Scholar
I have used a pseudonym to protect my identity.
My question is as follows:
I found out my wife was having an affair with her cousin. At first she outwardly denied it and even took an oath. Eventually she admitted to it and further confessed she had been alone with her cousin and committed at yet another mock religious mixed gender merry making extravaganza.
She purports that i had become to busy with my work to the extent that our marriage suffered and she he (the good Samaritan cousin)provided a shoulder and listened when i wouldn’t.
My first instincts when I found out was to issue her with a get/talaq from her immediately. Allah alone knows why I for some reason decided to make things right and forgive her. maybe i am scared of being alone and losing her after having built a life with her
The thought if this still troubles me even though we are happy most of the time.
1. What is the gravity of her actions?
2. Can the cousin shift any sort of blame on me?
3. What should be done to sort this out once and for all?
Awaiting a speedily and honest response.

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Asked on August 26, 2010 12:00 am
Private answer

1) Major sin, total sincere, proper repentance required.
2) No
3) If you have forgiven her, be positive, carry on with life, address the causes of her nefarious activities.

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Answered on August 26, 2010 12:00 am