when I recite the kalima, I feel it has to be with perfect tajweed, and it takes me half an hour sometimes to feel I have recited it correctly, which exhausts me, now I sometimes get thoughts of not wanting to recite which also makes me feel as though I am a kafir. 6)Is this true; have I committed kufr?
7) As I mentioned before, I have OCD, nothing that ulama have given me to recite has helped alleviate it so far. (for example, even this previous sentence I have judged to be kufr, which means I must now recite the kalmia.) Please mention something I can recite to help alleviate these terrible thoughts so I can have peace in my salat/ tilawat etc.
8)please explain how, if one has committed kufr, one can re-enter Islam? Is Ghusal needed? Is Kalima Tayyibah or Kalima Shahadah needed? Do I need to recite the six pillars of faith?
This condition has become so bad that I have considered suicide, and I feel I cannot practice my Salat and have now stopped doing these acts due to extreme difficulty. Every thought has to be judged to be acceptable or not and most times, even when laughing at something innocent, I get a thought that somehow links it to Islam, making it blasphemous, which makes me feel I need to recite the Kalima over again. I feel I cannot function without analysing every thought I have, which is somehow blasphemous.
Please advise on this.