Difficulty co-parenting with ex-husband

Question ID: 20228

Assalamu alaykum respected Ustaadh

Please assist me with some issues I’m facing .I’m a divorced mum of three and having difficulty with Co-parenting with my ex husband.
Please assist

1) my ex husband takes the children once a week after school , different weeks he chooses different days and brings them back after 7 summer or winter , exams or not .when I requested him to cut down on the weekly visits as it’s very unsettling for all he threatened me by saying he will take my son away from me as he is above 7.please advice .

2) the children go every alternate weekend and half holidays every term.ive never kept them from their father however he is a very difficult person who refuses to compromise in the interest of the children. Whenever I request a slight adjustment in terms of holidays (example he takes them first half and me second ) he often would refuse even though it would mean the children missing out on a holiday to their family or the seaside .when I request him to compromise he says I must dua at tahajjud for Allah to give me holidays when I want and the times don’t suit him.this attitude is affecting the children who see their cousins going on holiday with their grandparents but they needlessly being left behind .

3) he picks and drops off the children at different odd times each week , when I complain due to the inconvenience I am ignored .

After almost four years of this I’m really tired and looking for stability with regards to the children’s arrangements – the reason I’m messaging you is because even though he has no respect for my opinion I’m hoping maybe an Alim can guide us both on the way forward .

I’m sorry for troubling you in Ramadaan if you could take a few minutes to reply to my email I will really appreciate it please.
JazakAllah u Khair

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Asked on June 12, 2016 1:09 pm
Private answer

The above should be taken to your local Ulema body who will address the matter drawing guidelines on visitation rights. I can say, he is not correct but this has to be formalised and an agreement drawn and signed.

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Answered on June 18, 2016 11:19 pm