I have been committing sins most of my life, for a few years now i am reforming, however as much time i spend in taubah, duah, salaah, jamaat, taaleem, etc i still feel very despondent, i worry and stress that i am not forgiven, i worry and stress that i am not doing enough for deen etc, this worry and concern wont leave me!
1) My trust in Allah is weak. How do i strengthen this?
2) Is it advisable to disclose past sins to a potential spouse?
These days potential spouses don’t want to marry a girl that goes in Jamaat because the guy doesn’t, also not wanting to keep beard, wear trousers above ankles, mostly only reading Jumah on Friday. Yet they expect ‘decent girls’ to marry. (Sadly most men in this work are married already)
3) Do i consider being a second wife so that i can remain in this work. (I am 27 and never been married yet. )
4) Do i settle with someone that is not deeni inclined cause of my age?
5) I don’t want to leave this work as it has helped me. Please comment and advice.
Jazaakallah for your time Mufti!