I have been married for over 17 1/2 years, Algamdoelillah. My husband reverted to Islam shortly after we met and we have had continuous problems with his family always interferring in our lives.They were against our marriage and did not attend the wedding nor did they give the invitations to any of his family. His sister had a child out of wedlock which was born after we were married. To this day his sister is very jealous of us. We lived in Johannesburg for 31/2 years and moved to Durban where we lived with my parents for 9 years. During this first part of our marriage we hardly heard from his family especially when we were in Durban.We have 3 children 16,12 and 12. We had twin boys when we lived in Durban. His family showed no interest in our children. I have always encouraged him to keep a relationship with his family. During these years, my husband did not work often to support us and I was the bread winner. My family always helped us tremendously and supported us. We moved to Witbank over five years ago as he managed to find a permanent position. Since then, his family has had regular contact with him. His father had emphyzema, which my grandfather also had. While we lived in Durban his family kept exagerating his father’s condition. Before moving to Witbank, my father passed away after a triple bypass and 2 years later my grandfather passed away. My husband’s mother is very manipulative and she does things slyly so that he does not see her intention.
Since living this side, although they have shown an interest in my husband, the mother still ignores our children, to the extent that she forgets their birthdays, she buys them nothing and she can afford to as she is working full time. My sister in law sends her money to run the household which is more than enough as the house was paid up many years ago. From the December before last my father in law became very ill. His illness lasted nearly 19 months before he passed away. But it was especially since December last year till June this year when they really made the situation unbearable. We live 45 minutes away from them. My brother in law and his family live in their house. They would phone my husband at all hours and expect him to go there to take the father to the hospital or to go to the chemist for medication. During the time that I have been married there has been so much that has happened, I could write a book. It always boils down to the fact that they treat us unfairly and never see their faults. Another thing that his mother likes to do is send him emails based on Christianity. She stopped doing and recently started again. Maaf for the long email, but I am just trying to give you an understanding of the situation. I know that Islamically you are not allowed to break family ties, but 1. how do we handle this situation. 2. If my husband phones his mother every few months would that be a sin. Shukran for your time. Wasalaam