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I met this guy two years back, and we both liked each other and committed some haram actions. We have been through so many fights and bad/good times. I never realized I was actually in a relationship, I just wanted to be normal friends.After all the times of sinning, I felt guilt towards the beginning, but unfortunately started loosing it.Each and everytime we said we would not commit the haram, but it happened.We have finally stopped talking now, but I am so fearful now because now my parents are bringing up marriage to me and I feel soo much guilt and so sad inside because I disobeyed Allah, and also my parents. I knew I was not supposed to meet boys alone or have relationships. I am so ashamed of myself and it kills me everytime my mother talks about marriage and she thinks I am innocent, when I am not. Please I am begging you to help me, I feel hopeless and I have no one else to ask for help. I also feel terrible for whoever I will marry Inshallah, that I am almost not “chaste” that I’v been “done”.
Please help.May Allah reward you immensely for helping me out and all the fellow brothers and sisters out there Inshallah, Ameen.