For almost 15 years I have suffered from what medically is termed as OCD and Islamically as waswasah.
This is characterised by hand washing and thoughts that certain of my actions, statements and thoughts constitute kufr. This has led to daily enquiries from scholar(s) in order to clarify the situation.The thoughts are constant and try as I might to ignore them, they will not go away. I am persistently bombarded.It has now come to a stage that the line between rationality and doubt has been clouded and I am no longer able to decipher between that which is of genuine concern and that which is mere doubt.I have seen scholars, hakeems and doctors but to no avail; the consensus, unsympathetic and simplistic conclusion being that I do not want to help myself, which is not true. Nobody deliberately makes themselves suffer.The fear of inadequate washing and cross-contamination is so overwhelming that at the time of performing ghusl, wudhu and istinja, all rationality has gone out of the window and if I were to stop washing, which I have tried to do, my anxiety would shoot the roof, such that I would become irritable, perturbed and unable to concentrate on anything else.In terms of kufr, here is an example that occurred today and on previous occasions. Depressed, I played a game on my phone and thought if I dont reach a particular score, I have definitely become a kafir. When I did not reach the score, I became fearful and ceased playing.This has led to my marriage almost coming to an end and me being unable to work. I am even afraid to use the toilet.I am based in England.
1. Have you dealt with this issue before and what treatment/advice would you suggest
2. Would the aforementioned scenario pertaining to the game on the phone constitute kufr?