Marriage/Talaaq of Oppressive Husband

Question ID: 17754

Assalamu ‘alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh Mufti
Please i require your urgent advice.
I found out by mistake that my husband of over 2 decades had build a very close and intimate relationship with his ex wife practically all the years we were married, I read all there communications over the last 15 years it was not only a relationship but he disclosed our whole life with her,to our private life, to the smallest detail.
In most of my marriage years I had a very trying time with my husband with his physical and mental abuse to the point of oppression.I kept patient for all these years for my marriage, and my children and to keep the peace just to realize it was all in vain. What hurt the most is his lying, colluding, plotting and planning against me.

He gave me three options to make up our marriage again with conditions , I break contact with my family, I accept him taking another wife when ever and I must not ask for a separation ever.
The 2nd is we live in the same home married but not as husband and wife and the conditions still stand and he will continue his relationship with his ex wife or whoever. I must in this time abide by his rules and regulations as long as i am in his house.
3rd We divorce but with conditions as long as he allows my children either to live with me or be around me when he sees fit. I am not allowed to marry again and cant take the children with me anywhere without his permission.
Our children are 24, 21, 17, 13 years old.
Yesterday, I read Istikharaah salaah as instructed with all the regulations. I had a dream that night like non other before. I awoke knowing that there was no beginning to my dream just and end.I saw myself standing at an open door, facing the inside that was a black abyss I saw nor heard anything else. As I was turning away from the darkness I said firmly NO then walking through the door into a space of light.I then awoke.The dream was very clear but I am confused as its meaning. Pls clarify for me.Jazakallah

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Asked on October 7, 2015 6:00 pm
Private answer

The conditions he is making are not as per Shariat.
Lodge a complaint against him with your local Jamiat.
Take him for marriage counselling. He has to be brought to book.
He is not reasonable.

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Answered on October 21, 2015 4:20 pm