Marriage matters

Question ID: 28584

as salaamualaikum
.Dear Mufti
. I am married to a man who has 3 ex wives. All 3 marriages broke due to his mother’s interference and manipulation. we are married for just over 2 years and she continues to interfere. how should i deal with this? he consistantly abuses me both physically and worst, emotionally and i have nowhere to go. he doesnt even talk to me anymore. i feel lost and all alone. he doesnt take us out and spends all his free time with his mother. what rights as a wife do i have and is there any books i could purchase that would make it clear to him about his abuse and my rights as his wife?He has time and time again told me to leave by swearing you must “f” off. is this considered a talaaq? he also threatens to take my 20month old son away and i am also 7 months pregnant. he refuses to go with me to the jamiat for advice and counselling saying that they will laugh at him like when he went with the other wives and that they will tell him his mother is wrong in all her actions, and that he cannot bear to hear that. is there any other way to get counselling as he is not willing? please make lots of dua for us. i really want to make this marriage work and do not want to be single. there is soo much more to say. i really need to talk to someone and need help.

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Asked on July 18, 2008 12:00 am
Private answer

This interference will unfortunately result in another marriage break down.
His statement if it has intention of divorce, equals to one 'talaq-e-bain'
Go to a 'care line' or 'crisis centre'.
The Jamiaat has a soft policy and diplomatic in  nature, you require some firm counselling and hard talk.

Those that were your witnesses to your 'wakeel' in Nikah and the Moulana who performed your Nikah get them to aid, address, sort out the problem.

We make Duaa

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Answered on July 18, 2008 12:00 am