Kufr Related Queries 1

Assalamu’alaykum

Question 1

A friend of mine, who has been looking for 5 years to get married said to me that it gets to a stage where even the ugly girls begin to look pretty.

Later in the conversation, I echoed his sentiments stating: “When you’ve been separate from a woman (meaning wife) for a long time, even the ugly ones look nice,” (meaning when gaze accidentally falls on them).

As soon as I said this, I felt fear grip my heart & I am now feeling very bad.

Would this be kufr?

Question 2

I was lying in bed this morning. I DELIBERATELY thought I am a kafir. I did NOT & would not utter these words. Immediately after this thought, I recited la hawla wala quwwata illah billah.

I have also tried to, as honestly as possible, determine whether I had conviction in this thought. I thought about this for some time.

The answer to this is: yes briefly I did have conviction in this thought and I subsequently tried to negate it by recitation of the above.

After reciting la hawla wala quwwatu illah billah, I forgot about this and put it down to being waswasa, but later on this morning the question of it being kufr or not crossed my mind.

I have suffered a lot of kufr related thoughts for sometime, but not of this type. Usually, they are scenario based, i.e. if such & such does or does not happen I am a kafir.

Would the aforementioned scenario constitute kufr?

Question 3 & 4 in next email due to restricted space.