Statements of kufr

Question ID: 18635
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For the past 10 years ….while performing my fard salah I always feel certain i am not performing my fard acts in my salah while performing my salah …. I have trouble with my fast as I feel certain it’s breaking while I am fasting ……before whn making wudhu I would feel certain I am leaving fard parts of my body left dry …I feel certain my salah, fast, wudhu is null and void on many occasions …..
Now.,,…. I feel my worst and I really need help out before I make nikaah ……
Everything mentioned below occur to me once in a while
Firstly
I am certain I am uttering statements of kufr ( that take me out of islam ( with the intention of committing kufr in my mind and heart , once in a while.A while after stating the statements I get this intense fear and worry that I am out of the fold of islam ….. I read my shahada and take a ghusul bath …..
Sometimes ….I am certain I am committing actions of kufr ( that take me out of islam ( with the intention of committing kufr in my mind and heart .However after I commit the action of kufr with the intention of committing kufr in my mind and heart …this worry and fear that I am out of the fold of islam comes to me….I read stagfirullaj and I read my shahadah and do ghusul to renew my imaan .

A while After I utter statements of kufr ( that take me out of islam ( with the intention of committing kufr in my mind and heart , once in a while ….a while after stating the statements can I say astagfirullah and my imaan was not lost…..
A while After I comitted actions of kufr ( that take me out of islam ( with the intention of committing kufr in my mind and heart….. Can I read astagfirullah and my imaan was not list

i need a cure for this as my life is most tough
I also want to get married but I need to solve this problem first as I don’t want this to interfere with my marriage and break my nikaah ( hanafi ) .
I wanted to know if n my situation can the ISlamic ruling be that it’s only regarded as kufr if some person hear me or see’s me comiiting kufr than only it’s regarded as kufr …..

I know before I used kufr as a threat to not complete certain actions or not to complete certain actions .I also used it as a threat repeat my salah even though I did not perform fard acts as well as to not repeat wudhu .

P.s . I resent this email as the wording was unclear the first time I sent it

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Asked on December 27, 2015 11:26 pm
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Private answer

Satan is taking advance over your thoughts. Link yourself to a Righteous Alim who should guide you so that you become positive.
Avoid doubt, eat Halaal, be regular in Salaat.

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Answered on January 10, 2016 4:04 pm