Privacy when living with inlaws

Question ID: 33874

i have a question with regards to my privacy at my in laws, i have lived with them for 2 and a half years, this is a 3bedroom house with one bathroom, i have a son who is 1year and 6months old, he sleeps in the same room as my husband and i, all my belongings, my husbands and my sons are in this room hence the room is very crowded.

i have a few questions, my husband runs his own business and whenever there is cash to be kept he gives it to his mother to keep, this upsets me as there are a lot of ill feelings between his mother and me. she has insulted me on numerous occasions, called me a fat pig, told me i could never get a husband thats why i married her son who was a divorcee, my father in law has played a part in these insults too. my mother in law also accuses me of stealing but when confronted she cannot say what if is that i stole. My father in law also spoke about my underwear in the washing since i have to share a bathroom.i do not enter any if the other rooms because of the accusations thrown at me unless i am instructed to do so. am i wrong for wanting to keep my husbands valuables with me and not with his mother and what rights do i have with regards to this?

my second question is regarding intimacy, is it wrong for me to be intimate with my husband while my son is asleep on a seperate mattress but in the same room? whenever we try and go to another room it is occupied, my father in law will sit in one room and my mother in law in the other. today my husband told his mother we are going to sleep in the other room and asked her a few times if she needed anything from that room and she said no. when we locked the door a few minutes later she came knocking saying she wanted something. she kept knocking and banging trying to open the door and made a scene. it took a few minutes to get dressed before we could open the door and she refused to wait.

my husband provides me with a good life and i am short of nothing. my sons and my needs are all seen to in every way, but i know that my own home will put financial sttrain on him and that is why he refused to give me my own place. he has 3 sisters and he is the only son and they have ordered him not to move from his parent’s home.

his mother screams at us that it is her house and i cannot take over, this was when i shouted at the maid as she was not cleaning the dishes properly.

my husband also insists that i allow my mother in law to cook and feed my son, i almost never have a chance to cook and i told my husband going forward he should only eat my food and i will feed my child as his mother does not treat me properly, am i allowed to do so?

the next question is that my husbands sister has 3 children, she sends them to this house almost every weekend since i got married and this creates even less privacy for us as a couple, i look after the children entirely, recently the childrens mother spoke ill of me and also insulted me once by taking her children away from me as my in laws werent here. i have now insisted that i dont want the children here anymore and if they do come i will no longer look after them, please advise

i love my husband and i am trying to be patient but these conditions are making me a miserable person and i end up fighting unnecessarily with my husband, please advise on what i can do? i was not brought up in a very islamic background but i am trying to be a better muslim every day, in anger i sometimes disrespect my husband due to the treatment by his mother, his mother told my husband that she wished his late brother was alive instead of him and constantly belittles him for his sisters, all of this angers me and due to my outbursts my husband has slapped me a few times… all of these feelings are causing me immense grief and i am afraid will be the reason my marriage ends. please can you advise me as i love mh husband with all my heart and do not want to lose him, at the same time i feel like i am losing my mind with everything that is happening

Marked as spam
Asked on June 8, 2017 2:43 pm
Private answer

1) You are entitles to have your own space of privacy.
2) If the child is fast asleep it is permissible to be close.
3) It is your right to cook and feed your own child.
4) Explain to your husband the delicate nature and the inside politics.
5) You husband has NO right to hit you.
6) Do not counter react, it will make matters worse.

Marked as spam
Answered on June 11, 2017 9:55 pm