I am a muslim foremost i love and believe in allah and all his attributes.
I try to live a proper muslim life and tryy utmost to bring up my kids the islamic way.but i am a waeak person i study things too much and it gets beyond by control.
My lastest is kufr statements and thoughts and statements.the more i read the deeper the feelings i am worried sick if my statements are kufr.i also suffer with ocd and wasawasa.
Can u tell me if any of these leads to kufr
Sometimes when i read yaseen shareef i get this thought u are reading yaseen your day will still not be easy…then allah willing something bad happens i get this thought like u see yaseen supposed to help you it has no effect..by this happening i fear reading yaseen cause i do not want to become superstitious yet in my heart i know yaseen is the heart of the quran.
I was having very bad ocd and i was reading up on nikah talaq etc.and i have these thoughts statements women are unfaired how can a woman life be over because of some words etc yet in my heart i know without doubt whatever is in the quran i wld follow before having ocd i wld never have thought uttered these statements.
My husband in the earlier yrs of marriage i wld b scared of him inever knew what wld tick him off ond day i said to him it feels lk i fear u more than allah meaning i am scared when u are around how he acts and speaks my intention was never to say he is allah.
Does thse statements render kufr if so what about my nikah.and if these thoughts come all day how can i distingish betwwen thoughts and intention.i say and repeat kalimah but how can i repeat my nikah everyday.my symptoms are that bad.
Please with allah mercy can u guide me my whole life revolves around my iman.
Sister in islam