How to extinguish temperamental behaviour

Question ID: 19896

Mufti I am very confused. Im not sure if having a temper is my nature or from shaytaan.some people are calm natured and if I was not born with that trait then is there something wrong with me? I hate being so temperamental. When I lived in my father’s home I faught a lot with my brother. When I married 5 years ago I began showing tempremental behaviour toward my husband in the mer second week of marriage. It has not stopped. Small things make me so angry big things fury me I see red and want to break something or hurt another or myself -I have done before. Alhamdulilah I am a mother now of two. I decided my anger is enough as when my 3 year old doesn’t listen to me or does anything to anger me I have no patience and get just as anger. I know how wrong this is and I should show mercy to an innocent child but mufti my question is how? How do I extinguish this terrible trait? I do not want to have further marital issues nor do I want my children to grow up in fear of me. Please help me I do not know what to do. I want to be a calmer Muslimah

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Asked on May 8, 2016 8:56 pm
Private answer

1. Make a lot of Isitghfaar.
2. Read “Ya Naru Kuni Bardow wa Salaamun ‘Ala Ebraheem”
3. Make wudhu when angry.
4. Sit if standing.
5. Lie down if sitting.
6. Leave the place.
7. Change the topic.
8. If you are right do not contest.
9. Avoid those topics and situations that cause anger.

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Answered on May 24, 2016 3:44 pm