Conflict with parents on marriage

Question ID: 33648

In the name of Allah who is the most gracious and most merciful.
I want to seek guidance in the light of Quran and Sahi hadees regarding the problem which i am currently facing. I have described my problem below;
During my graduation I liked a girl in my class for her character, beauty and religion, I wished to marry her because she had all the qualities that a good wife and Muslim woman must have. furthermore since we have the same field of study we sometime talked about studies and helped each other in studies and projects and we help each other in job as well. We used to talk regarding studies and work and general issues, but we never met outside university and never did anything wrong which is outside the limits of sharia. I have always treated her with respect and dignity. After passing from university she moved to another city. I was busy with my job. After gaining a stable financial status and after asking her when I put my desire for marrying her in front of my parents they were instantly against it, and the reasons they gave for rejecting her were.
1) They believe I am immature and they ll let me marry after 3-4 years even though I ll turn 26 this year.
2) She is not from my caste, but we both follow the same fiqh hanafi
3) They want my elder brother and younger sister get married first
4) They want me to first do masters and focus on my career even though I earn enough to afford a wife
5) They think the girl trapped, which is not true and they haven’t ever met her or seen her, they assume that by themselves
6) They are highly insecure that I will leave home after marriage because few of my uncles separated soon after marriage
I tried my best to convince them and resolve the matter but instead of understanding me they started doing strictness over me by scolding me and daily snatching my cellphone and laptop, which also affected my work. I asked for help from my elder sister and brother but they also opposed me I was applying for scholarship to study further from abroad but because of my parents felt insecure they didn’t even let me go and I had to sacrifice my career. Because of all this my heart turned away from them and I stopped talking to everyone at home. My parents say since they have done a lot for me now they demand sacrifice from me by leaving my wish of marrying.
I feel my heart so attached to her that I believe if I don’t marry her I will not be able to marry anyone else as well, and this will leave a big scar on my heart. Because of all these issues that continued for months I left my home for the peace of mind for few days, and on my return the situation worsen even more. There was no one in family and relatives who supported me so I invited few of my friends at home to explain my parents my problem but they are very rigid and did not agree. My parents demand from me to spend my time with them but I am so heartbroken that I don’t feel lively anymore. They think that I disobey them and I fear ALLAH in this regard but I am very much heartbroken of the situation. My question is:
1) What does shariah advise me and my parents in this situation?
2) Am I disobeying my parents by not sacrificing my desire to marry the girl of my choice and by doing so am I sinful?
3) Are my parents doing wrong by stopping me from getting married without any sharii reason and doing strictness over me?
4) Are the reasons which they have given me for rejection valid?
5) Am I allowed to marry without parent’s permission?
I request you to provide me an urgent fatwa which I can discuss with my parents and come to a solution, I want to resolve the issue as soon as possible because my home environment and my condition (mental and physical health) is getting worse day by day

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Asked on May 6, 2017 6:37 pm
Private answer

1) Solve the matter by mutual consolation and advice from Alims.
2) It is time you get married.
3) Yes.
4) Reason not valid.
5) Best to take their permission although permissible.

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Answered on May 14, 2017 8:49 pm