Please forgive the extensive nature of this query.
Today youth aspiring to be the ambassadors of Islam are held back by family seniors’ adherence to cultural norms.
I hear time and again, particularly from Gujarati Ulama in S.A., that due to parents, uncles etc. seniority, one must make sabar on their sins &, in support of this, they give the analogy of the trials & tribulations encountered by the Sahabah Radiallahu Anhum & the prophets.
However this analogy relates to the difficulties Sahabah faced at the hands of non Muslims. How can this analogy be applied to difficulties faced at the hands of Muslim relatives?
Please correct me if I am wrong, but it seems that many Ulama, particularly from the subcontinent, give this answer of sabar in order to maintain social unity.
However, in the interim what happens is, due to family pressure, this youngster ends up attending the mixed weddings, sitting in a mixed gathering, eating on a table, participating in an engagement party & socialising with people who break the Command of Allah. Even if he escapes some of these sins, his association with people of fisq & fujoor undeniably affects his heart.
In addition, along with sabar, Ulama advise the youngster to adopt hikmat to correct the wrongs of the family, without realising that that takes time and, in the interim, the youngster goes astray.
When we look at how Sahabah dealt with other Sahabah, then we find instances of them saying I will never talk to you again. Surely this is the more pertinent example in dealing with the issues that arise today. Instead we get told the stories of how the Nabi dealt with the kuffar when they oppressed him.
Is this not a case of Ulama today skewing the truth in order to maintain their own notion of peace and unity? The result is that an individual aspiring to make Sahabah his role model never achieves anything beyond ritualistic Deen, i.e. Deen is in his routine, but there is no increase in spirituality, mujahadah and qurbani.
Surely, the solution for any youngster aspiring to continually improve his Deen is to politely excuse himself from his family members who are hell bent on disobeying Allah & maintaining relations to a bare minimum.
In fact, it is arguable that, in cases other than where parents are involved, the asal is to sever ties if, for example, the sin in question is major, habitual & unlikely to be remedied due to cultural norms.
I do not mean to be rude, but I sense an undertone of complacency and fear amongst many of our Deobandi Ulama that if they were to advise the youngster as per the previous paragraph, then the comeback would be on them. This would then be a case of fearing the creation and not the creator.
Am I right in thinking that the failure of Ulama in being brave and giving haq advice in such situations is causing more problems than it solves?