Question ID: 26018
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as salaam wa alaikum
. i am the husband of whom a question has been answered to (question #8578 04/12/2012)
my wife has said whatever she has said alhamdulilah and painted a very bad picture of her in laws that
she always does. she has made accusations and assumptions that my mother is accusing her of martial affairs which is not true because its me who has accused her according to her actions towards me. i will never accuse anyone unless their actions dont prevail their behavior. yes we live with my mother and she is an elder , a widow, strict person , lonely , illiterate and not self supporting and she does not respect my mother at all. my mother took care of the kids from the time they were infants until now. my mother use to clean the house and cook all the food for us so that when we come from work all is sorted but my wife has no appreciation and talks to her anyhow she feels like so my mother stopped. I on the other hand don’t get into her parents lives and don’t treat them like the way she treats mine. her parents always get into our lives and tell her things that overides my desicion to which i overlook.
my wife has full access to my banking account and knows exactly what i earn and what the money is used for like the rent ,water ,lights ,school fees, loans ,education plan etc so because she works we had made an agreement in the outset that she buy the food and groceries. she makes so many accounts unnecessarily and then says that she has no money to do anything , thats not fair. yes i did refuse to buy the groceries because its again not fair cause she doesn’t want me to know what she does with her earnings. i am a person who has taken her for haj last year and I read my 5 time namaaz promptly. i am a very neat and strict person. she doesnt respect or trust me at all always do thing for the sake of it not from the heart.
she say she love me but cant respect me or the people i care about, she say she love me but cant keep my world neat and tidy, she say she love me but cant dress the way i want her to, she say she love me but will never want to be apart of us and do things from the heart, she say she love me but cant work together to make a better future what kind of love or marriage is that. she always threatens me when we argue or fight that she wants me to give her divorce , that she wants to leave me, that i listen to my mother all the time, i in fact listen and stick to the truth.
she has said her side of the story but failed to say what she does but nevertheless
. please advise me as to what to do in this case

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Asked on January 8, 2013 1:02 am
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Private answer
Your problems look big in reality can be sorted out. Go for counseling. Do not let this difference destroy the marriage. Sit, talk, communicate, agree, negotiate, settle follow Shariat.
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Answered on January 8, 2013 1:02 am