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Question ID: 30738
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Asalam-u-Alaikum mufti sahib,
I found your website online. I follow hanafii school. Please let me know if talaq (and how many talaqs) has taken place and what can we do if we want to resume marital relationship (e.g only rajho or fresh nikah or halala). Please let me know as soon as you can.
Facts:
1. Our marriage took place in 2004 in Pakistan
2. We have one son about year old.
3. We been having small arguments or misunderstandings for past 4 years. Both of us live in Canada now.
4. three years ago during some argument at London airport (she was insisting on visiting a store at the airport) i said to my wife “if you kept on insisting like this now you will be divorced” i believed at that time she kept quiet and did not argue further and we forgot about this incident. both of us now recall that incident now after recent talaq confusion between us.
5. For last two or three years we have often discussed between two of us that “maybe we should separate since we often fight and its not good thing”
6. Three weeks ago we were fighting verbally and i told her “by the way today i have used that word finally so in our marriage one chance is has been used”.In urdu this is what i said ” aaj mein nay whu lafz istimal kar diya hei lehaza humari shadi say eik chance istamal ho chuka hei” I told her next day that i was lying as i never used/said that word to myself about you. (and truth is i never said that word about her).
7. In same week during another argument i said “i will finish this marriage right now and i grabbed my phone and i was thinking of typing sms and send it to her
even though she was sitting with me” but i never typed anything or sent any text message to her.
8. three days ago we had another argument and i said we should finish this marriage forever as its not going anywhere so i said to her i will find out whats the legal requirement and we will do it through local law of Canada instead of sharia way, i believe both of us agreed to find out legal information and pursue it further, both of us wanted to finish/settle this quickly and we heard doing through lawyers will take lot of money and be lengthy process. From internet i learnt that if we make a separation agreement dated one year old we can file for divorce in court quickly (as Canadian law requires one year separation) so we drafted separation agreement signed it 2 days ago and went to court and “Filed a petition for divorce”. Separation agreement was signed by both of us but petition of divorce was only signed by me (when i was signing petition of divorce my wife said to me that you are aware this means divorce and said to her its not true because i am asking the court to grant the divorce). Court people said it will take 6-8 weeks and then judge will either call me (husband) for hearing or i can provide written answer as why i wanted divorce and if judge is satisfied he will grant a divorce. When we went to court they said i must give copy “Notice/petition of divorce” to my wife and she has the opportunity to file a answer or chose not to respond. But earliest it will take about three months to receive divorce judgement.
9. Next day which was yesterday we both got really worried and went to court and said we do not want to pursue our case further so court office returned my marriage certificate from Pakistan. I was the one who filed for divorce my wife was “respondent” in the application/petition of divorce.
Now after reading on Internet it appears that if we used the word divorce in joke or as lie for our wife divorce will take place, in one recent scenario as per para 6.
When we were signing the separation agreement my intention was to get the divorce from court,, my wife signed the separation agreement because i told her this way after divorce she will have sole custody (100%) of child under canadian law, she wanted guarantee that me or my family members will not take away our son from her. In separation agreement all two of us are saying that we can not live together so we are separating in eyes of law even though under canadian law after signing separation agreement we are still married but living separately. But after signing the separation agreement i went to court asking for divorce based on the separation agreement. I have not said that word myself yet but i have asked canadian court to grant me the divorce. But next day when i went back to court i said i don’t want divorce now so please discontinue my case and they accepted and dismissed case and returned me my marriage certificate. But once again when i went to court first time it was my clear intention that i want divorce through court.
Me and my wife have not developed any hatred for each other,its small misunderstanding or emotional immaturity. We know we can live together just need to develop more respect and tolerance for each other. But at the same time we dont want to live life of sin. We heard about halala but apparently it does not sound nice thing. we feel its more like cheating the Allah system. But please guide us as two of us sincerely want to live together. we realize or fault.
But at the same time please give your opinion justly not because we want to hear from you that maybe there is still a chance for us right now without a second marriage of her. Alhhamdulilah both of us are muslim by birth from pakistan. I have also attached copy of separation which two of us signed.
Sincerely,

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Asked on November 16, 2012 11:52 am
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Private answer
No divorce has occurred as yet. Go for marriage counseling. Stop fighting.
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Answered on November 16, 2012 11:52 am