Question ID: 21691
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I suffer from OCD and get obsessive about things. My thoughts get somewhat under control with medication but I don’t take it all the time. Therefore ever since having learnt that words of kufr from either the husband or the wife dissolves the marriage has made me very cautious of my wife’s statements. I ask her about her intentions behind various statements of hers and this makes her very upset as she thinks I am always looking to make takfeer on her. This attitude of mine ends up effecting our relationship. Case in point are two recent statements. Both the following statements were made by her when she was angry at me and we were having an argument.

1. I have started paying more attention to the deen and she is worried that I might turn into an ‘extremist’. She was going to visit her mother and said that you can listen to the Qur’an all you want. This statement was sarcastic as I frequently listen to islamic lectures online.

2.In the same conversation she was upset and she said she was finding it difficult to wear the headscarf. My wife has major issues with self esteem and I feel she suffers from depression. She felt that somehow headscarf was contributing to it. When I angrily confronted her what she was doing for her faith she said she was wearing ‘this piece of ####’

A) Do the above statements, even though clearly made in a disturbed state of mind, take her out of fold of islam?

B) if yes what should I do?

C) is this attitude of judging my wife all the time okay?

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Asked on August 15, 2016 4:50 pm
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Private answer

AsalaamuAlaikum
السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُاللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

A.) No.
B.) N/A
C.) No.

Adopt a soft policy otherwise sooner or later both of you will be standing out of the fold of Islaam.

وَعَلَيْكُمُ السَّلَام وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ وَمَغْفِرَتُهُ
Was-Salaams
Mufti Elias
http://www.alislam.co.za
twitter.com/Mufti_Elias

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Answered on August 17, 2016 1:24 pm