Question ID: 23597

Assalamu Alaykum
Dear Mufti Elias,
I kindly ask that you provide me with detailed answers regarding the following questions are they are very important to me.
1.If the parent(s) need financial help, what is the obligation of the son/daughter to provide? Also, if the son/daughter no longer lives at home and has bill and cannot afford to help, what needs to be done at that point?
2.In a bad child/parent relationship, if the son/daughter wants to make things better but cannot because the parent(s) are not changing, what is the obligation toward the child?
3.If a parent has borrowed money from a child due to medical reasons where the parent could not work and need financial assistance, should the son/daughter request that money back over time or should the son/daughter not ask for it back? Does a son have to take permission from his parents to marry a certain woman
4.What if parents demand that the son marry a certain woman, but the son does not want to, what is the ruling?
5. What if the son wants to marry a certain women but parents object, does he have to change his choice of marrying her and move on to someone else and so on until the parents desires met?
6.If the parents order the son to divorce his wife, does he have to? And what if he doesnt want to?
7.Does the son and his wife have to live with his parents? And what if the parent’s demand it but the son does not want to?
8.Does the son have to consult and discuss his choice of marriage and why he chose his spouse or not?
9.Is it allowed for a son to request or demand his wife not to remove her hijab in front of his mother and father? This is so since the son knows that his parents may discuss his wife’s features with other people, especially the mother with other women who will then tell their husbands and so forth? So this question in twofold: First, is it permissible for him to order his wife to not remove the hijab inform of his parents? Second, if yes what are the guidelines, and if no, what about the possibility of his parents describing her to others?
Jazaakallahu Kayraa
Assalamu Alaykum

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Asked on May 23, 2010 12:00 am
Private answer
1) Offspring should aid the parent as much as one can, without going into debt.
2) Give as much as proper guidance as humanly possible.
3) Let other elders of the son/father aid in making the decision.
4a) If in financial need, may ask for it back, better not to.
4b) Better to do so
5) Make extended 'Mashwera'
6) No, will not be a transgressor
7) Better in this age to live separately if one can afford to do so.
8) It is definitely best to do so.
9) There is no Hijaab. Let them talk. This is going the wrong route.
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Answered on May 23, 2010 12:00 am