Question ID: 19064
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Asalamu alaykum ….. I submitted the following :

For the past 10 years ….while performing my fard salah I always feel certain i am not performing my fard acts in my salah while performing my salah …. I have trouble with my fast as I feel certain it’s breaking while I am fasting ……before whn making wudhu I would feel certain I am leaving fard parts of my body left dry …I feel certain my salah, fast, wudhu is null and void on many occasions …..
Now.,,…. I feel my worst and I really need help out before I make nikaah ……
Everything mentioned below occur to me once in a while
Firstly
I am certain I am uttering statements of kufr ( that take me out of islam ( with the intention of committing kufr in my mind and heart , once in a while.A while after stating the statements I get this intense fear and worry that I am out of the fold of islam ….. I read my shahada and take a ghusul bath …..
Sometimes ….I am certain I am committing actions of kufr ( that take me out of islam ( with the intention of committing kufr in my mind and heart .However after I commit the action of kufr with the intention of committing kufr in my mind and heart …this worry and fear that I am out of the fold of islam comes to me….I read stagfirullaj and I read my shahadah and do ghusul to renew my imaan .

A while After I utter statements of kufr ( that take me out of islam ( with the intention of committing kufr in my mind and heart , once in a while ….a while after stating the statements can I say astagfirullah and my imaan was not lost…..
A while After I comitted actions of kufr ( that take me out of islam ( with the intention of committing kufr in my mind and heart….. Can I read astagfirullah and my imaan was not list

I want to get married but I need to solve this problem first as I don’t want this to interfere with my marriage and break my nikaah ( hanafi ) .

1) Wanted to know if my imaan is not lost
2) and if mufti can be my spiritual guide to help me overcome above

Jazak -Allah

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Asked on January 14, 2016 6:17 pm
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Private answer

Contact your local Alim.
Develop a close relationship with him if he is righteous, having Ilm and fear of Allaah.
It is best to have spiritual contact with someone who is near you.

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Answered on January 31, 2016 8:26 pm