Question ID: 23837
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Asalaamualaikum mufti.
I hope you well.i was married to a man for 6 years who cheated on me.that ended in divorce.then i met someone and knew him for 3 weeks.he seemed to be so good.islamically inclined etc etc.we were married for 3 years.he ended up to be a monster- very abusive, emotionally and physically. his mother was very nasty and cruel to me.we then got divorced.now i have met someone who wants to marry me and accept my 2 kids as well.he has 2 kids of his own.he is also divorced.i know him for 4 months.i am really afraid of getting married as what if he turns out to be the same as the previous husbands, yet i do not want to go on seeing him and being in contact with him as this is a sin.he wants to marry me asap as he has been for 3 hajs and do not want to commit sins.i am really very afraid.i read istikharah for the previous 2 x husbands and had good signs. how will i know if he is good and if his family who all seem very nice now,will not abuse me or my kids in any way.also my kids are small and love him already.his kids are 9years old and i dont know if they will accept me as the new person in their father’s life and in their lives as well…as kids i understand and expext them to feel jeolous towards me and towards my kids when their dad pays attention to my kids.he suggests we make a |”secret” nikah so as not to continue making sin and then when his kids are ok with me and the entire situation, we can have another nikah and tell them about it. please your advice has always helpd me and i would appreciate it if mufti could advise on this.
jazakallah
was salaam

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Asked on August 5, 2010 12:00 am
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Private answer
Do not make a 'secret' Nikah.
Draw up a contract whereby you are given power of attorney over 1 Talaaq.
Get married and avoid sin.
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Answered on August 5, 2010 12:00 am