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Question ID: 30774
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As salaamu alaikum
Im a 30 year old male who is currently not married, i have met a woman who is 40 years of age, with 3 kids, eldest son 22, second son, 14 and her daughter who is 7.
She is a widow, widowed twice now both her previous husbands passed away, 1st 2 sons from her first husband who was christain, 2nd husband was muslim and she reverted into islam 7 years ago, and the daughter is from the 2nd late husband.
I met her when the daughter was just 4 years old, she ( the daughter ) and i have gone very close and i take her as my own daughter, alhamdulillah mother and daughter from this year started following islam properly again and the daughter will be enrolled in an islamic school next year insha allah
My parents refuse me making nikah to her due to the age, her 3 kids and the fact that she cant fall pregnant as she had her tubes tied when her daughter was born, and my parents want grandkids, they have no grandkids of thier own.
My mother is gone under depression and refuses for us to make niakh due to the above situation
What do i do? cause i also want to take care of her cause she is a widow, and her daughter is regarded as an orphan as she has no father, i have also become very attached to her daughter i have been there for her from the time she was 4 years old. I also want to keep my mother happy and have thier blessings…
Every one has been telling me that i need to do what is right and obey my parents especially my mother and get married to a young muslim gal and give them their grandkids
From a sharia point of view what do i do? cause i know our beloved prophet Muhammed married hadrath Khadija who was 40, and she was also a widow twice.
Would really appreciate feedback on my situation above.
Shukran
Wa-slaam

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Asked on November 16, 2012 12:11 pm
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Your contact and relationship with her thus far has been un-Islaamic. Something founded on wrong will not produce good results. To substantiate your move is easy but to do so will not necessarily be fruitful. Every permissible act need not be done. The advices of the parents is important.
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Answered on November 16, 2012 12:11 pm