Question ID: 25586
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Salam

I got engaged when i was 19. Due to me still studying, both my parents and his parents have agreed to a wedding date after a year.
The problem is that before i gave my answer, i read my istikhara namaaz, and got the dream that i was teaching a pre-school class, nothing else. I did not know what it meant so i made my decision based on my grandmother telling me that he and his family seem very nice.
I was happy with the decision until 6 months later, he did something which made me angry and i performed istikhara namaaz again, and this time, my dream was not good.
I have tried to discuss this with my parents, but they said that i have no bases to break off the engagement. it is not only of this one incident that i want to break off the engagement.

I am very unhappy now and made up my mind that i dont want to marry him, but my parents refuse to accept that i wish to do this.

One other thing, when i met this guy, i was a very modern person. since then, i have started to change, meaning i have started to go to tabliq class, spend time with aalims, wearing hijab, things like that. In the near future, when i feel i am ready, i want to wear the full islamic dress (abaaya). I have told him this and he has said that just because a girl wears the islamic dressing does not mean that she is a good person. people who wear normal western clothes could be better than her islamically even if they dont observe the dressing.
i disagreed with him. and at the end of the conversation, i came to the conclusion that he did not want me to observe the islamic dressing as he prefers normal dressing meaning jeans and tops.
although my parents think this is a small matter, i feel that in the future when i do decide to wear the abaaya, it will become a big issue. what should i do?

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Asked on November 21, 2009 12:00 am
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Private answer
Firstly the talking with the person is Un-Islaamic . If you are a strong willed, firm person then you will be able to change his outlook. If not better to call it off.
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Answered on November 21, 2009 12:00 am