Question ID: 26245
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Salaams,

What do I in a case where a mother is being verbally abusive and very critical towards her daughter?

I am 31 years old and unmarried and I feel my mother holds alot against me because of this fact. Sometimes she makes me feel that I am an unnecessary burden on her. Sometimes she tells me things like “You have such a big mouth you will never keep any man happy” or things like “You will die an old hag and nobody will want you”. She always tells me there’s something wrong with me and I have a jinn in me that makes men run away. I don’t believe that. She tells me how come younger girls are getting married and I can’t. Its very hurtful and very abusing. I am the youngest and only daughter and have 3 older brothers. I do want to get married but to the right person. Sometimes I feel that she would rather have me divorced and then I will be safer from her sharp tongue. I am now at a point where it is psychologically affecting me. My father does nothing to make the situation any better. I was proposed once before but the boy and I wanted very different things out of life and were not very compatible. Previously I was cheated on and verbally abused. I feel that if my mother can shower so much criticism and abuse on me then that doesn’t stop any man from doing that. It is very difficult if you dont have your own family as a support system.

I have made a lot of sabr regarding this and even marriage. But what must I do if Allah SWT has not made it my time to get married. Why do I have to endure all of this. I am tired of being depressed and its causing me to lack respect for her and my father.

Please Mufti, please offer some advice and help me. I feel so alone in this situation. My friends have deserted me and I feel my family has too

Shukran

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Asked on May 2, 2014 8:17 pm
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Read this booklet:http://www.alislam.co.za/uploads/Tried%20And%20Tested%20Methods%20Of%20Getting%20Pious%20Matches.pdf choose a formula. Avoid negative comments as much as possible. People do not know how to express themselves. Avoid confrontation. Have Sabr. Allaah is with the patient.
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Answered on May 2, 2014 8:17 pm