Mother inlaw speaking bad behind your back

Question ID: 27667
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As salaamu alaikum Mufti,

Please can you give me some advice regarding an issue with my mother-in-law.

I am married for 7 years and live away from her. We have always had a civil relationship, however I have had problems in the past with her speakingly badly about me to other people and telling me terrible things. I have always just made sabr and let it go.

Recently there was a misunderstanding between us and she refused to hear my side of the story. She then called my mother and my granny and spent a considerable amount of time complaining about me and she has said very hurtful and horrible things (many of which are untrue). They are both very upset by the things she has said, but they have advised me against speaking to her about it because they do not want to cause further problems.

I am very angry, upset and depressed about the situation as I feel like she is 2-faced in that over the years she speaks to me nicely to my face yet she says terrible things about me to behind my back. I want to confront her and tell her how I feel. Do you think I should go ahead with it or not? I feel like I cant continue acting like I am fine with what she is doing.

Shukran.

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Asked on January 19, 2009 12:00 am
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Private answer

Do not raise the matter just now. Wait for the Ideal moment and then raise the matter in a most simple, deplomatic manner.

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Answered on January 19, 2009 12:00 am