Question ID: 23173
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as salaamu alaikum
please help me mufti saheb. i will be married 2years by the end of this month.alhumdulillah my husband has good ways and is a hafez etc.but he is also an attorney and when ever we have an argument i can never get my point through.the last two years have been really difficult for me.my husband has built a house on the same property as his parents and i have never held him back from helping them.but from day one he had been nagging me to go see his parents, when i go there i mustnt stand by the by the door etc.i cant really explain everything otherwise this e-mail will never end.last night he said i have been abusing him emotionally with regards to going to his parents house every fewminutes to check on them.the word abuse was only used yesterday for the first time. but i know in my heart that and Allah that i have never held him back from helping them.i even tell his mother your son take you where ever you want to go.i dont go becasue i dnt want him to have to choose between his mum n i.the other thing he says constantly is that after Rasulallah SAW come his parents then me.but i have parents also and before i was married i used to drive my father around as he had a home business and stopped driving.but i had to leave all that and come and live here and be subjected to his nagging.after last nights argument im feeling like why did i get married?he keeps saying his parents are more important.yet his elder brother has his own place with his wife and my husband has said the brother has “shirked” his responsibilities.so does the wife have no importance then?i left my parents to come and seek jannat under his mothers feet?i have so mant thoughts going through my head and i dont know who to speak to. i even told him to get his parents and my parents together cos i cant live like this. id rather stay with my parents and help them and get the sawaab for it.every month its a fight.so is his parents first in line for him to attend to?is there no obligation on him towards me equally?and what happens to a girls family after she gets married?does jannat not lie under the feet of her mother any more?
maaf for the long message but could you please help me with any books regarding dealing with in laws and the rigths of the husband.becasuse i have read the quraan with english trans and i havnt come across anything in there.
jazakallah for the time.wslm

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Asked on March 22, 2011 9:03 pm
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Jannat lies under the feet of your mother.
You should respect, honor, love and aid your mother in law whenever possible without breaking the Shariaat. Read online 'Gift of Bride' - 'Gift to Bridegroom'. Also on rights and rights of parents. Exercise Sabr, do not quarrel. Be regular in Salaat. A way of peace will soon open.
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Answered on March 22, 2011 9:03 pm