Question ID: 23997
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Asalaam-u-alaykum
i want to know about my 21 years of marriage. when i got maried i was living with my parents. my dad was unemployed, collecting sick grant (an amount of R650 per month). i was working, supporting him and my mother. My wife and i had problems with my parents. i then decided to take my wife and live on our own and when we went to visit my parents, my sister was also there. My sister passed remarks which my wife did not like. i can not remember the remarks beacuse it happened 21 years ago. We then decided to go home. on our way home my wife and i were arguing about what was said which caused a lot of anger and frustration between us. our frustration and anger was gone to such an extent that i did not know what to say due to the anger and frustration. in this situation of being angry and frustrated i have told my wife that i will give her talaaq which i mentioned 3 times. when we went home our anger and frustration subsided after a while and i have apologised to her for what i said and we carried on living a normal life and even had two kids. w lived that way for 21 years and now for the last 3 months, she has decided that our marriage is broken for what i said 21 years ago. I am a factory worker and earn a very little salary. I am the sole supporter of our home. there are times that i can not meet the needs of my wife and children. that makes her very angry. she has told me that she has spoken to you about it and you have said that we are living in zina and that our marriage has no value despite the 20 years that we lived together. now i want to know if this is true or is she just using my financial problem as an excuse that we can not live together.
Jazakallah.
it is important that i receive a reply as soon as possible as we are going through disputes everyday regarding this issue.

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Asked on August 20, 2010 12:00 am
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Private answer
Sadly the Talaaq is valid.
You supposed to be separated 21 years ago.
However, she could not have spoken to be on phone directly as i do not speak to non-Mahraam ladies on phone. Could have got the ruling via my wife.
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Answered on August 20, 2010 12:00 am