Question ID: 31034
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Salaams Muftie-sahab,
Please help me to clarify some information, so that i can understand where i stand in my marriage.
This is my story in a nutshell.
I was born an Hindu and was married for 10 years with 2 children, a girl and a boy. My ex-wife and i fell out of love. (This sounds strange but it’s true). We subsequently got divorced and there is no hatred between us as we have kids together. We have done all out communicating through my kids over the years.
I then fell in love with my current wife. I was told that if i wanted to marry her i need to make sunat which i did and then converted to become a muslim. I have been married for the past 13 years as of now.
In 2009 my wife’s best friend told me that my wife has not being faithful from the time we got married. This made me very sad and miserable. When i confronted her about these issues, she always lies and say nothing happened and she does not want to talk about it. She now wants to kill her best friend. She even gave me talaq three times in front of her mother and aunties. We have seen two psychologist since then and she would not open up to what happened and indicate why she did it. Her best friend gave me details of what my wife did and told me that those men even came home to visit. She also cooked food and took for one of the men. She was seen in compromising positions with this man in the swimming pool as well.
Since late 2010 and early 2011 i have not slept with my wife. We have not had sex since then. I cannot pretend to do this anymore and this is really killing me to know that i once loved this woman and she did not feel the same towards me to do what she did. She has one daughter, whom i really adore and love as my own child. I do everything for this child as a father would do.
Please tell me were do i stand in this marriage;
1. am i still married after been given the talaq?
2. when a man has not slept with his wife for that long, is the marriage still valid?
3. What must i do or what can i do in this instance?
Salaams

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Asked on November 16, 2012 11:56 am
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Private answer
1.Her talaaq on you is not valid.
2.She is still your wife.
3.DECIDE WHETHER YOU WANT HER OR NOT and then move accordingly or go for marriage counseling.
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Answered on November 16, 2012 11:56 am