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Question ID: 25265
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as-salaam, dear muti saab, first jazaka-allah for all your advice and guidance thru my problems..may allah grant your janaat.

a while back i submitted a dream about shving the beard etc. and well you gave two different interpretation of he same dream and they both have come true. may allah increase you in your wisdom and knowledge.

back to my current question….my problem facing me still persists about a girl being forced against her will to get married…even tho she has publically turned the boy down when the moulana cam and ask for her permission on nikah the bor still persists and is forcing her into a corner…

he has got hold of some personal correspondence between me and the girl and i mean very personal and how has given an indication to blackmail into marriage.

the parents have given her an ultimatum..is is me or they will dosown her..

i have been reading 2 rakaat istigffar, 2 rakaats nafl for allah to unite us and remove her from this situation and when even i can…i am rading 3 khuls and asking allah to protect her and keep her safe and unite us in nikah.

while i do understand that you cant do anything…your duas are most welcome also my question is…the policy of diswoing a daughter if she does want to get married..what islam view on all of this…she has also informed me that the parants are compulsive gamglers..basically any oppertunity they get they in the casino..which she hates…the boy apparently that she been forced upon..from what she has told me..toes the line…n does not speak out…so i can assume that why he is their so called chosen one. she has informed that the parants have disowned her brother for speaking out agianst gambling….

i have now taken the deicision that i am willing to do what ever to she asks to make her wife as she want me to be her husband…which might mean eloping….i am preapred for the entire indian community to make panchat and all our pvt. corropsondence to be made public…as all it will be is ‘panchat’…indian ‘panchat’

sonow my questions:

1. disowning a child, from the little i now it not an islamic concept n does not belong in islam…

2. the concept of eloping in isalm especially when we are dealing with an adult who is 29yrs old….she does not need parants permission as she is ragarded as an adult islamically..

3.i have not mentioned this above,,, i recieved a sms from the other boy threatenning to have his way with her….

4. what extra can i do to emplore allah to help us….i now i have to patient….but a girls izzit at stake….and everythime we see a little bit of help descending..we take ten steps backwards..as the other boys forces the issue even more.

5. i have suggest she call in the ulema…but she too scared to what everyone will say and this thing of disowning is weighing heavely on her head..
6.with reagrds to point 3 and telling the parants in their eyes he is a god send and they will never believe her.

7.and you might be wondering y i am persisting with girl…mufti i have been in search of a wife for 33yrs odd years…i ahve seen them all..allah willing has kept me safe to thextent that i have not touched a girl in a passionte phsyically..but i must admit with my thought like all men i am guilty. when i first made contact her with thru(we have never in person) something just told me and guided me…what ever i asked based on the 5 qualities as stated in the hadith that you must look for..she has n from my point of view piety characater are the first 2. which in in todays times are are rare..and that the basis of my entire likening for her…5 qualities…which many will say is childish…and simple…but even though i am not a perfect muslim…if it worked in the prophets time i sont see why it should not work in our time…i have also mentioned to that i seek no garantee from her as all what allah and our prophet says make nikah…they dont say ull get hapiness…but we learn formthe prophets life and sahaba life that thye also went thru thei ups and downs in marriage…and we both inderstand this….so i persist i continue to read…

please advise

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Asked on April 19, 2009 12:00 am
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Private answer
1) Not Islaamic
2) Not advisable.
4) Forget and move on
5) Good suggestion.
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Answered on April 19, 2009 12:00 am
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