Question ID: 26005
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As Salaam wa alaikum

Maaf to disturb you but I need your advice on my marriage. I might be on the verge of an emotional breakdown as I am so confused about my situation. Firstly my husband whom I dearly love has been giving me a hard time lately. I tried overlooking and asking him for maaf but he but he eventually stopped talking to me for almost 3 months and he always says things to degrade me. He even went to the extent of accusing me of having an affair I am deeply hurt as I work to provide food and clothing for our family as well as food for his mum whom we live with. She has always given me a hard time but with sabr I overcame the obstacles. I started to impose my rights as a wife on him so that he must start providing food for us as I cannot make it to fit the bills anymore, in which he refused point blank, saying that he also pays the electricity and his accounts so no money.

With sabr again i carried on and asked Allah for strength, but eventually it took a toll on me after eight years of marriage I left the house. I also performed Istikhaara before leaving. He asked me not to go eventually but I was adamant and I just could not take it anymore. I stayed at my parents house with my two young children. Then he says that i left them with no food in the house and he wanted to make this work. So i gave in and asked him to fetch me so we could give it another chance. But he refused to pick me up as he says that I went away on my own will and should come back the way i went, as he was not going to fetch me.

My parents didnt think I should have went back back as they feel that things will only get worse from previous experiences, but I do not want to displease Allah and I do love him. Eventually he brought his Hazrath Fareed Shah to come to my parents home and who also promised me that this will not happen again so i should give him another chance. So i went back. But now I am in a worse of situation, whereby his mum is speading rumours that I am having an extra marital affair and she still gives me a rough time and husband blames me for everything and supports his mum in whatever she says. I am so broken and I dont know what to do. I also begged him for us to go for marriage counselling and he refused. I did ask for advise from another Mufti at the time I was at my parents and Mufti advised me not to go back and He should give me a divorce.

Please give me some guidance. I would be most grateful.

Shukran.

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Asked on December 16, 2012 11:03 pm
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Private answer
You firstly must get those who were the witnesses in you marriage to aid you in settling this matter. Failing which, you should go to your local Jamiat. Your Husbands responsibility is to provide food not yours. He is currrently avoiding his duties. He has to prove his accussations.
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Answered on December 16, 2012 11:03 pm