Question ID: 32813
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Aslm Mufti. I’d like to know the Islamic ruling on the joint family system. I am a city girl who a year ago married a small town boy. My husbands family is very interfering and demanding. I am disregarded as his wife and we constantly have to run everything by his family. We cannot make our own decisions. His brother speaks to me as if I am his wife and his sister is constantly interfering in our marriage. Constant passing remarks and comments. They have told me before this is how we do things you either take it or leave it. Mufti, should my husband and I not be able to make our owns decisions and live a life that we want. Do I not deserve the right to privacy? His family does not believe in respecting each other’s privacy. They believe the more involved you are in each other’s business the better, they believe it’s caring for one another. Mufti it’s hard to live in a house where you cannot make your own decisions regarding anything. I am told what I should rather eat, when I should have children, when I can go shower. His sister disregards me and controls my husband. They will never ask can you do this he Ian just commanded to do things. His brother has told me that he doesn’t have to ask his brother to do something he will just have to do it. My father in law passed away a few months ago. My husband promised my my own space of living once his mothers iddat is complete. And now they have gone back on their world. Mufti my husbands family does not like me to have my own opinion. I have to just accept everything as it it. Mufti how can I have my husbands back when he allows his family to treat me like they want. It’s hurtful. Jazakallah so much, may Allah SWT reward you abundantly In Shaa Allah.

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Asked on March 30, 2017 12:21 pm
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Private answer

If this is the case, then they are doing wrong. You are entitled to privacy. Own quarters.
They have no right to interfere in your affairs provided you are acting within the Shariat.
Ask your husband to speak to an Alim.

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Answered on April 9, 2017 7:58 pm