Question ID: 20000
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Assalamu alaykum! i’m a male muslim student who, Alhamdulillah is following the sunnah & currently in college taking up bachelors in allied rehabilitation medicine. i have witness young muslims who, before entering college, were pious, praying 5 times a day, fasting, following the sunnah, wearing hijab etc.. i dont know why after college they have change to the point that they do not pray 5 times a day, wear hijab and so on and so forth….now during my freshmen years my classmates are majority non muslims as i live in a predominantly kafir country.. before, they were nice to me even though i dont follow their hobbies and practices which are: unnessary mixing with the opposite sex, having pre-marital relationships, drinking beer, joining cheerleading competitions,(in a yearly event) playing games that require a male to dress as a girl(act like a homosexual), dancing etc…during these activities i just excuse myself and tell them nicely i am not interested in doing those and it is not our norm or allowed(they tell me that there are also muslims doing these) and then i just explain kindly to them & walk away. in my 1st and 2nd years they continue to socialize with me even though i’m different to them, but during this second semester of my 2nd year, i have noticed that they start to act different, when i enter the room they will just look, ignore and avoid speaking to me, when i ask them something regarding school matters, they will reply shortly and then continue to ignore me, i thought they were just not in the mood then it continued to a month & this is were i realised that i was Ostracized!! i thought i could endure this, but ,as humans are social beings i feel isolated and depress because of the alienating that they are doing to me, i dont have someone to talk to in the campus, when i join them eating lunch, they will just leave me and wont wait for me to finish thus now i eat alone, when there is a group activity i feel like a ghost as no one will socialize or take notice of me and so much more. now i know why some muslims change after college, its because of the fear of being ostracized by their peers. i sought advice from my teachers & they say that i should accept change once in a while and participate as there is a saying that to be accepted by the group you should abide by their rules and regulations(which i cannot). i have practicing muslim friends but we rarely meet because of different courses and hectic schedule and 80% of my time in a day is with these kafir classmates. transfering to another school is not an option as it would require me to go back to 1st year again and my parents are now old and have spend alot in my education thats why i want to finish these course to begin to work to help them(i only have 2 years left in my 5 year degree) & also i may able to treat some of their ailments with these degree in the future & this the only school in the region that offers this course. i know that if i just follow one of their activities, i’m sure they will accept me again but i dont want to & its like hell to me attending classes everyday with people around me acting like im not there!! sometimes i just want to quit but when i think of my parents getting older i just force myself to go and its really affecting my studies, please kindly advice me mufti saheb on this matter
jazakallahu khair

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Asked on May 27, 2016 12:11 am
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Private answer

By the Grace of Allaah, you are saved.
By their own behaviour they are in fact aiding you. By ostracising you they are providing you a good opportunity to practice as you want.
Who requires that company that will entice and course you to sin.
Be positive, you should remain alone and never sit with those evil doers.
Shariat does not want you to mix with sinners.
There is no compromise with sin.
You should not bend to the nefarious changes of the environment.
Do not change college.
Remain aloof, free from dirt – you will come out a better person.

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Answered on June 7, 2016 12:26 pm