Question ID: 27764
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Salaams,

There was a boy and their family who came and proposed. Although my parents and I accepted the proposal, the boy and I grew very unhappy and there seem to be alot of tension and issues arising. We are now both unhappy and having doubts. I have expressed this to my parents and they are very unhappy blaming me for the mishaps that have occurred. I also didnt want to prolong getting married because I didnt want to interact in haraam relationships. But the boy decided that he wants to get to know me better irrespective and didnt want to rush. Now my parents are saying that I will never find someone as nice as him even though he criticises me of every shortcoming I have. We all have faults but it doesnt need to be over exaggerated. My parents say that I shouldnt get married because I always seem to mess up and nothing actually was really my fault. I think this guy has lots of insecurities and confidence he needs to sort out on his own and he is taking it out on me. I am slowly losing respect for my parents because they dont know how much I am hurting and I know that this is wrong. May Allah forgive me!

I did read istikarah. Although it was done in my menses as I had to give an answer, the only dream I had was women blocking my way but I saw an entire wedding procession afterwards. When I did read it again, this time when I was paak, I didnt dream anything, but I was content and accepted based on that. He also read istikarah and his was positive as well.

I am 26 and now growing very depressed about the whole marriage thing. there are cousins that are younger than me that are getting married. Everyone sees me as if there is something wrong with me including my parents. I am slowly starting to believe it. I do make lots of dua everytime when I perform Salaat for Allah to send me a good and decent proposal, someone who is right just for me. But what else can I do or which duas or which surahs from the quraan can I read to increase my chances.

Shukran.

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Asked on January 6, 2009 12:00 am
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Private answer
Sit with your parents and discuss this serious matter. The foundation is utterly wrong. Talking, communating, discussing before marriage. Think carefully. You may have to call this off. Read our book. "Seeking a spouse" on site. Do not lose hope. Sooner or later good proposal will come.
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Answered on January 6, 2009 12:00 am