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Aslm.Mufti, my husband married a second wife in Aug.2010, he only told me in Dec.2011when his second wife was about to give birth.He told me later that he was sure that i would fasagh, i didn’t.He has been telling me that he was going to divorce her and then when i told him i was going to pack his clothes if he does not do so, he then contacted a Sheigh and asked what the procedure would be, she was in her niefaas and sheigh said it is makroe and that he can’t. She is Ganafe and he is Shafi’. Mufti prior to when he told me our son had nightmares, i was always tired and our marriage wasn’t going well, when i scold him, it was amplified, i asked someone to come to our aid only to find out that there was someone he was”going out”with at the time he met me and left to be with me, did us harm(Black Magic/Dukum)and told me that after 3 yrs of marriage what was sent to harm us wreaked havoc in our lives.My whole body i have learned at the time was infected, my eyes always had dark circles and a lot of the time i thought it was menopause, this was not the case, if i ever made salaah out of the waqt, i would feel extremely tired etc.I asked him will it make it easier for him if i had the marriage annulled and then he would say”No,No”. Mufti given the fact that these things wreaked havoc in our lives for 9 years, i thought that i would want to fight for this marriage and that it was as if my life was stolen from me…he is now working in one of the African countries and said he would speak to this other wife, but now it seems he is not going to leave her, but he sent me a message saying that he does not feel the same way he did when we got married,but that he is asking Allah(SWT)for guidance.All the scolding i did was for the right reason but it was amplified, he however always flirted at work and that got amplified..when i was “cleansed”by the person who came to my aid, i felt as if i was awoken to my husban only to find that our marriage was on the ‘rocks’ i dont know what to do, because as soon as i am emotionally strong to let go then he tells me no i musnt i even phoned him and asked him whether i must pack his clothes 4 days ago and sent it to her, then he said ‘now why do you want to do something like that’ When i told him he needed my permission he said no he didnt, his mother said he must divorce me and that there is nothing wrong if he has two wives, he didnt even work at the time he got married the second time, in fact he was retrenched and didnt want to be relocated in Jhb. and started his own business without consulting me. He also said he must honor my wish to divorce her.i told him even if the marriage was performed via islamic rights, the were leading an adultress marriage and that it is based on a lie.Must he honor my wish Mufti?

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Asked on November 16, 2012 6:09 pm
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He is allowed to take a second wife. However he has to treat them equally. Contact the elders in your family to address and resolve your marriage problems. Lastly go to local 'helpline' / 'crises centre' / 'marriage counselling'
Do not break up the marriage.
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Answered on November 16, 2012 6:09 pm